The Colonel Sells

I know I shouldn't post so much about my kookie coworker, the "colonel," but he gives me so much material, I can't help myself.

Now, the colonel is our sales supervisor. He is basically our only sales person, designated to drum up business. Other personnel in corporate are also sales-driven, but have various other duties while the colonel's only job is sales. So, you get the picture.

You're probably thinking, given his position, he should be very apt in the sales arena. Oh, my friends, let me assure you that cannot possibly be more false. Here is his sales plan:

1. Go to conferences and conventions of potential (and existing) customers.
2. Gather business cards and email addresses at venues listed above.
3. Spend the next 3 months (or so) before the next venue calling all the people listed on the business cards collected.
4. Using this spiel: "John Doe, this is the Colonel, with ABC123, I had the great pleasure of meeting you at the YouNameIt conference in September. How are you? blah blah blah I was calling you regarding our __________ service. Oh, you do? Are you happy with the service you are receiving? I see. I was wondering if you received the little package I sent you regarding our services? May I send you another? Sir/Ma'am, would you mind if I made a follow-up call to you in about a month? Most assuredly. Thank you.

Now, I am not a sales person, but I do know this....If I was THE sales person, I would be getting out of my chair and hitting the streets to make personal contacts with some of these people.

Once a potential customer told me they were satisfied with someone else's work, I would use that opportunity to jump in and ask to compare rates, quality, service, etc.... I would offer one free time, etc... something to open that door and get my foot in it.

And lastly, if I were "the" salesman, I would never, ever call my package little.